Home for the Holidays, by Thomas Kincaid

Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Strength to Relinquish

I am looking out my office window at the snow falling all around. It reflects the quiet and stillness of my heart. Since losing my dear friend in January, my grief has caused me to turn inward some, to pull back from communicating as much as I would normally do. I don't think that it has made me selfish, but it has stilled my need to reach out.

I have had a difficult time letting my friend go. I have wanted him back. Yet, I am sure he is much happier now that he has been reunited with his wife and loved ones. Yesterday, I realized that my constant prayers about him, about my missing him, are a pull on him away from what I really want for him right now. I want him to be happy and at peace with his loved ones. Looking back on warm memories is not the same as pulling on a person because we don't want them gone. So, last night, I decided I would stop all this prayer about my friend and just let him go. This is not as easy as it sounds.

My prayers today are to let go with the peace and confidence that I will see my wonderful friend again and that it will be a happy reunion. This requires some faith and confidence in the Lord's great Plan and gratitude for what He has given me.

I am grateful for wonderful friendships that have meant so much to me that they can hurt so much once the friend is gone.



Myrnie said...

I've been thinking of you. We spend so much of our lives looking for more ways to reach out and more ways to share. Letting go is the hardest of all.

Christensen Family said...

I'm always available if you want to talk. Lots of trials right now in our family.

Alexandra said...

Feel better! He'd want you to be happy and at peace. I'm sure that was/is his greatest wish as your friend. Maybe you could do something special to honor him for some closure.

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Dear Elizabeth, grief is difficult and there is no right way to do the steps or set time frame for getting them done. Work at letting your friend go, but please don't be hard on yourself if it takes time. It's an organic process and will work itself out as gradually as a seed growing into a plant.

Marie said...

It's hard losing a dear friend who meant so much over the years and always will. It makes me want to connect and cherish them while I still can. My heart goes out to you.